Post by Arreck on Jun 10, 2005 20:19:33 GMT -5
Twassecc Leader Interview
The following interview was conducted recently by circular reporter Hessa Borkli. Apparently, she landed a conversation with the Admiral, who thought her idea to interview some of the twassecc leaders quite humorous. As such, Grand General Ghant Iko, Tactical Advisor Tobar Nexxus, and Master of Assassins Miphon Vallani were ordered to participate.
Borkli: Is everyone ready? I’d like to get started.
Miphon: I’m ready.
Tobar: Sure, I guess… why am I doing this again?
Iko: I am fully prepared. Let us attempt all due punctuality, if at all possible.
Borkli: Okay! I’m going to ask a series of questions, and you can each answer in turn, if that’s all right with you?
Tobar: Can I go first?
Borkli: Sure, Mr. Nexxus.
Tobar: Don’t call me that. Ever.
Borkli: Oh… of course …Tobar.
Miphon: He’s NOT kidding.
Tobar: I got no problem spendin’ a couple days in jail if I’ve got to.
Borkli: Ok, I’ll just say Tobar, then. First question: How did each of you get your current position?
Tobar: Pfft. I had an …episode… in the main hall involving an AED. The Admiral said I could get out of prison early if I’d take this job… oh yeah, I also had to autograph his kid’s SILP.
Borkli: You mean you’d be in prison right now if it wasn’t for this job?
Miphon: He’d probably be in prison right now if it wasn’t for this interview.
Tobar: Oh, shut up. He’ll be fine. Yeah, now I’ve decided to help the Admiral out, rather than tear up his nice ship. Good guy, the Admiral.
Borkli: How about you, Mr. Vallani? How did you get to your position?
Miphon: Well… to tell you the truth, I’m not exactly sure… I’m a bit smaller than most twasseccs, so I guess that helped…
Tobar: A bit? You’re a certifiable midget, ekrin-boy.
Miphon: I suppose I just have a gift for the job. I’m good at it.
Borkli: You have a talent for eliminating people?
Tobar: That’s my talent.
Miphon: Yes, to a degree. Generally in the field I don’t do much of the actual elimination. I get in, get out, no messing around. Sometimes I plant bombs. I don’t count that as a talent, though; it doesn’t take much skill to blast away an entire building full of people indiscriminately.
Tobar: I resent that.
Miphon: I know you do. If you want the truth, most of my job involves training new operatives. I’ve got good social skills, I guess.
Borkli: I see. Well, General, how about you?
Iko: Quite simple. Hard work, discipline, and devotion.
Borkli: Is that it?
Iko: That’s all that matters.
Borkli: Can we get some more details? A story, perhaps?
Tobar: You’ll sooner kill a graakk with your bare hands, kid.
Iko: Look it up. All of my history is and always has been a matter of public record. If you care so much, save us both the time and do some research on the circular.
Borkli: I see. Well, if that’s how you feel, we’ll move on to the next question. Ah… this isn’t one I personally wanted to ask, but my boss thinks it will be a popular one, so… How many weapons do you have with you, right now?
Tobar: Two. No, wait… Three. Yep.
Borkli: That’s it? I thought the famous Tobar would have more of an arsenal.
Tobar: What, you think I need it?
Borkli: No, no, you look fine.
Tobar: I don’t see what’s the fascination with lugging around tons of weaponry. Strap another three guns on my back, I’ll still shoot you with this one.
Borkli: Please don’t.
Tobar: Oh. Sorry.
Borkli: Miphon, how about you? What are you carrying?
Tobar: Yes, tell us, Miphon.
Miphon: Hmm… Well, I’m not at liberty to divulge the exact number… I’ll say ‘at least nine’.
Tobar: Damnit, Vallani, I’ll find them all eventually! I swear it!
Miphon: Maybe in your best dreams, Tobar… but I doubt it.
Borkli: Uh. Okay then. Mr. Iko?
Iko: I was not aware that we would be doing any fighting, miss Borkli.
Borkli: You didn’t bring anything?
Iko: Nothing at all. Why burden myself with extra weight when Tobar and Miphon are sitting in the same room as I?
Borkli: What if they were incapacitated?
Iko: Then I would either be dead already or moments from it. There is such a thing as overkill, miss Borkli.
Borkli: Understood. Um… next question, then. Are there any, you know, ‘significant others’ in your lives?
Tobar: A ‘significant other’? We aren’t going to censor it that badly…
Miphon: Hmm… That is a pretty poor choice of words.
Tobar: To answer your implied question, I’d have to say no, unless you count Tuuva. But she’s way too evil for me.
Borkli: Would this be Tuuva Terletti, your mechanic?
Tobar: No, it would be the other Tuuva I regularly associate with.
Borkli: Okay, I get the message… what do you mean, she’s ‘evil’?
Tobar: I mean she’d have fun throwing an infant out the airlock… Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty damn good time. I’ll rephrase. She’d have fun throwing a twassecc infant out the airlock. Probably even her own. She’s evil. Pure evil.
Miphon: All I know is that she beats up thugs …or people who dare to look like thugs… for fun.
Borkli: I think we’ll leave it at that. Miphon?
Miphon: No.
Borkli: That’s it?
Miphon: Yes, that’s it. No. Dangerous in my line of work. Can’t give the ure any advantages, now, can we?
Borkli: Alright. And you, Iko?
Iko: I have a wife. We have been married for twenty-three years.
Borkli: …
Miphon: Shocked?
Tobar: If you think that’s unsettling, wait until you hear who he’s married to.
Borkli: Okay, I’ve got to hear this. What’s your wife’s name?
Iko: Treil Suyat.
Borkli: …You mean Navy Admiral Suyat?
Tobar: *laughter*
Miphon: None other. Kind of funny, eh?
Borkli: Why have you never mentioned this before?
Iko: Before this moment, it has been irrelevant to the conversation at hand. This is no secret, miss Borkli. If you really wished to know, the circular would undoubtedly have a public record of this. All you would have to do is access it.
Borkli: I… I guess, but it just seems that such a matter would be common knowledge.
Iko: The common aren’t known for their knowledge, ma’am.
Borkli: I suppose not. I’m afraid to ask… do you have any children?
Iko: I have a daughter who currently attends Izava II.
Borkli: Really? What’s her name?
Iko: Miss Borkli, you are beginning to irritate me. I’m not going to give you the answers; this is all information you could easily obtain yourself, if you would set your mind to it.
Borkli: Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Well, it seems I have some research to do on the Circular, so I’m going to cut this meeting short.
Tobar: Not short enough.
*End of document*
The following interview was conducted recently by circular reporter Hessa Borkli. Apparently, she landed a conversation with the Admiral, who thought her idea to interview some of the twassecc leaders quite humorous. As such, Grand General Ghant Iko, Tactical Advisor Tobar Nexxus, and Master of Assassins Miphon Vallani were ordered to participate.
Borkli: Is everyone ready? I’d like to get started.
Miphon: I’m ready.
Tobar: Sure, I guess… why am I doing this again?
Iko: I am fully prepared. Let us attempt all due punctuality, if at all possible.
Borkli: Okay! I’m going to ask a series of questions, and you can each answer in turn, if that’s all right with you?
Tobar: Can I go first?
Borkli: Sure, Mr. Nexxus.
Tobar: Don’t call me that. Ever.
Borkli: Oh… of course …Tobar.
Miphon: He’s NOT kidding.
Tobar: I got no problem spendin’ a couple days in jail if I’ve got to.
Borkli: Ok, I’ll just say Tobar, then. First question: How did each of you get your current position?
Tobar: Pfft. I had an …episode… in the main hall involving an AED. The Admiral said I could get out of prison early if I’d take this job… oh yeah, I also had to autograph his kid’s SILP.
Borkli: You mean you’d be in prison right now if it wasn’t for this job?
Miphon: He’d probably be in prison right now if it wasn’t for this interview.
Tobar: Oh, shut up. He’ll be fine. Yeah, now I’ve decided to help the Admiral out, rather than tear up his nice ship. Good guy, the Admiral.
Borkli: How about you, Mr. Vallani? How did you get to your position?
Miphon: Well… to tell you the truth, I’m not exactly sure… I’m a bit smaller than most twasseccs, so I guess that helped…
Tobar: A bit? You’re a certifiable midget, ekrin-boy.
Miphon: I suppose I just have a gift for the job. I’m good at it.
Borkli: You have a talent for eliminating people?
Tobar: That’s my talent.
Miphon: Yes, to a degree. Generally in the field I don’t do much of the actual elimination. I get in, get out, no messing around. Sometimes I plant bombs. I don’t count that as a talent, though; it doesn’t take much skill to blast away an entire building full of people indiscriminately.
Tobar: I resent that.
Miphon: I know you do. If you want the truth, most of my job involves training new operatives. I’ve got good social skills, I guess.
Borkli: I see. Well, General, how about you?
Iko: Quite simple. Hard work, discipline, and devotion.
Borkli: Is that it?
Iko: That’s all that matters.
Borkli: Can we get some more details? A story, perhaps?
Tobar: You’ll sooner kill a graakk with your bare hands, kid.
Iko: Look it up. All of my history is and always has been a matter of public record. If you care so much, save us both the time and do some research on the circular.
Borkli: I see. Well, if that’s how you feel, we’ll move on to the next question. Ah… this isn’t one I personally wanted to ask, but my boss thinks it will be a popular one, so… How many weapons do you have with you, right now?
Tobar: Two. No, wait… Three. Yep.
Borkli: That’s it? I thought the famous Tobar would have more of an arsenal.
Tobar: What, you think I need it?
Borkli: No, no, you look fine.
Tobar: I don’t see what’s the fascination with lugging around tons of weaponry. Strap another three guns on my back, I’ll still shoot you with this one.
Borkli: Please don’t.
Tobar: Oh. Sorry.
Borkli: Miphon, how about you? What are you carrying?
Tobar: Yes, tell us, Miphon.
Miphon: Hmm… Well, I’m not at liberty to divulge the exact number… I’ll say ‘at least nine’.
Tobar: Damnit, Vallani, I’ll find them all eventually! I swear it!
Miphon: Maybe in your best dreams, Tobar… but I doubt it.
Borkli: Uh. Okay then. Mr. Iko?
Iko: I was not aware that we would be doing any fighting, miss Borkli.
Borkli: You didn’t bring anything?
Iko: Nothing at all. Why burden myself with extra weight when Tobar and Miphon are sitting in the same room as I?
Borkli: What if they were incapacitated?
Iko: Then I would either be dead already or moments from it. There is such a thing as overkill, miss Borkli.
Borkli: Understood. Um… next question, then. Are there any, you know, ‘significant others’ in your lives?
Tobar: A ‘significant other’? We aren’t going to censor it that badly…
Miphon: Hmm… That is a pretty poor choice of words.
Tobar: To answer your implied question, I’d have to say no, unless you count Tuuva. But she’s way too evil for me.
Borkli: Would this be Tuuva Terletti, your mechanic?
Tobar: No, it would be the other Tuuva I regularly associate with.
Borkli: Okay, I get the message… what do you mean, she’s ‘evil’?
Tobar: I mean she’d have fun throwing an infant out the airlock… Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty damn good time. I’ll rephrase. She’d have fun throwing a twassecc infant out the airlock. Probably even her own. She’s evil. Pure evil.
Miphon: All I know is that she beats up thugs …or people who dare to look like thugs… for fun.
Borkli: I think we’ll leave it at that. Miphon?
Miphon: No.
Borkli: That’s it?
Miphon: Yes, that’s it. No. Dangerous in my line of work. Can’t give the ure any advantages, now, can we?
Borkli: Alright. And you, Iko?
Iko: I have a wife. We have been married for twenty-three years.
Borkli: …
Miphon: Shocked?
Tobar: If you think that’s unsettling, wait until you hear who he’s married to.
Borkli: Okay, I’ve got to hear this. What’s your wife’s name?
Iko: Treil Suyat.
Borkli: …You mean Navy Admiral Suyat?
Tobar: *laughter*
Miphon: None other. Kind of funny, eh?
Borkli: Why have you never mentioned this before?
Iko: Before this moment, it has been irrelevant to the conversation at hand. This is no secret, miss Borkli. If you really wished to know, the circular would undoubtedly have a public record of this. All you would have to do is access it.
Borkli: I… I guess, but it just seems that such a matter would be common knowledge.
Iko: The common aren’t known for their knowledge, ma’am.
Borkli: I suppose not. I’m afraid to ask… do you have any children?
Iko: I have a daughter who currently attends Izava II.
Borkli: Really? What’s her name?
Iko: Miss Borkli, you are beginning to irritate me. I’m not going to give you the answers; this is all information you could easily obtain yourself, if you would set your mind to it.
Borkli: Alright, alright, I’m sorry. Well, it seems I have some research to do on the Circular, so I’m going to cut this meeting short.
Tobar: Not short enough.
*End of document*